she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
