There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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