I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
