the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
