If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
