new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
