she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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