I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize