Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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