brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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