i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
