Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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