just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
