he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
