woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
These tits shall not be calmed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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