i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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