If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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