All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just pee around me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
