well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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