You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
