She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
