just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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