I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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