you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
