ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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