Yo dont text me then not text me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
