was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
