well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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