i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
