I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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