He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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