i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
