I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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