How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
