You just made me feel so damn special
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
