I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
