Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize