i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
