I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
whose parrot is this?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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