Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
