I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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