Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
