At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
