he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
