I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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