Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
