This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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