He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You took a bar mat shot.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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