I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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