i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I need moral support for this bender
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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