you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
