Swine flu. Run for my life!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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