Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
