Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
