That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
