So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
