So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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