were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
