What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
