i barfeds in our rink
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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